On February 26, 1978 this little brown girl was born to an immigrant mother from Cap-Haitien, Haiti. As a single mom of 3, it wouldn’t be easy but LIFE in the 305 (Dade County, Miami) was going to toughen my smooth baby skin.
Let me tell you about a woman who raised 2 boys and a little girl with little to nothing. The funny thing is they didn’t realize that they weren’t exactly rich. The kids were conceived from different dads but you aren’t allowed to judge their mom. You see the first man was one she was in love with and bore a child out of wedlock; but a jealous woman (perhaps a side chic) made sure that their union wasn’t complete. The 2nd man forced himself in and upon her causing her to conceive a man child. She chose not to press charges and the irony is they could come together and co-parent that baby with no hard feelings for over 30 years. The 3rd man had a family and a wife but simply wanted to gain residency in the United States (so the story goes) and I was conceived after their short stint of a “marriage”. But that is neither here nor there—you can read more when I write a full length book about it.
As Mother’s Day approaches, I think about how sometimes my heart feels hardened because she was always just a mother and not a friend. Life was structured, stern and full of RULES! I think back to those embarassing times my friends would dial my number and she would answer the phone singing the first 2 verses of the hymnal. She spent most of her time giving us the side-eye and lectures longer than the Nile. I guess it was her way of being a perfect role model to us but sadly it was the same delivery she was mimicking from the aunts that forced her teenage laboring hands into adulthood.
Fast forward through life and I found myself having to take a series of tests that had been prepared for me —MY LIFE! The things I’ve observed with my eyes and held in my heart would now paint me a colorful narrative. In 2007, I welcomed Carsyn-Piyere in my arms, followed by Xander-Ma’Chi in 2010, and then my beautiful Bella-I’man in 2013. In this leg of the race, I was blessed with a partner that could share the laughs, wonders, heartaches, and ultimately…happiness.
These tiny and beautiful humans bless my soul each day because they call me MOM! Unfortunately, I had to give up some kids over the past 16 years and that guilt drives me insane. You see from year to year I spend time with them but then from year to year they are taken away. I care about these kids but cannot live with myself as a M.o.M. knowing that some of their names I have forgotten and birthday cards and special occassions are not celebrated with gifts, balloons, cake or ice cream. I was only responsible to push and challenge them beyond their greatest dreams. My challenge was to pull those dreams out of the dark hole that somehow faded to black at some point over the last decade and a half.
The Moment of Clarity
As I reflect on this journey, l do not say how much I love her enough or celebrate her in a way where she truly knows she is appreciated. She sacrificed a lot to be sure my brothers and I were okay and she fought for the opportunities that would make us better. She was a teacher at home before anyone else would claim that title officially. She moved mountains and oceans so we could go far, deep, wide, and high! She possessed a strength and work ethic that could not be contested even when she answered the call in the only way she might know how. I cannot say that we are BFFs or that I do things the way she would like but she is still my MOM and the one that has given me strength beyond her own.
When a new milestone of a school year begins, I sadly think of the spirits of those lost children which seem to haunt me in some reincarnated manner through the bodies of the new learners that sit at my desks and eventually fill a space in my heart. I recognize that I too am and will always be their M.o.M. Whether they come back to visit or not, I am the “Motivator of Minds”! I served and continue to lead as their sherpa in this leg of the journey. As we pay tribute to the mom’s and teachers across the world this week–think also upon the Motivator of Minds (M.o.M.) that have also pushed you to greatness. I am rich because they all call me… MOM!